What steps are involved in making funeral arrangements?
A funeral or memorial service can be tailored to fit each
of our families. Families are invited and encouraged to
honor their loved ones in a manor that they feel is meaningful.
The funeral director will be your partner in helping you
provide a special remembrance.
The funeral director will ask a variety of questions that
will be used to complete necessary documents, forms and
permits. Information about the deceased, such as full legal
name, date of birth, place of birth, social security number,
usual occupation, legal address, years of education, father's
name, and mother's maiden name will be needed.
Information for the obituary is usually obtained at this
time. Items such as date and place of marriage, how long
the person had lived in the area, educational degrees, a
brief employment history, memberships of any clubs or organizations,
hobbies and survivors are needed on an obituary. If the
family desires, the funeral director will list their preferences
for memorial gifts.
The funeral director will discuss with the family their
preferences for the service time and location. The director
will help to coordinate the service, including officiant,
musical selections, organist, vocalist, pallbearers and
final resting place.
If
you have any questions regarding the arrangement process,
please contact us at info@bonnerupfuneralservice.com,
or call 507.373.2461.
Funeral Etiquette
Who
do I need to notify?
Family members and close friends of the deceased should
be notified as soon as possible by telephone. If you are
not able to make all of the phone calls personally, provide
a friend or family member with a list of people that should
be called. If the funeral arrangements are known at the
time you call, be sure to provide that information as well.
Should
I send flowers or make a donation?
It is always appropriate to send flowers to the funeral
home unless otherwise requested. Flowers may also be sent
to the family. Be sure to check the obituary in the newspaper
to see if any specific request was made. It is not necessary
to send the flowers immediately. They can also be sent several
days or weeks following. Many times the obituary will list
charities that were designated by the deceased or their
family. Donations may then be made to the charity in memory
of the deceased.
What
should I wear?
It is no longer necessary to wear black to a funeral. However,
you should choose dress clothes that are more subdued in
color and style.
What
do I do at a visitation?
Upon entering, sign your name in the guest book. You may
then express your sympathy to the family members. Many times
the family will be in a receiving line near the casket.
You may also pay your respects to the deceased. If a kneeling
bench is placed in front of the casket, you may kneel and
say a prayer. If you do not wish to kneel, you may stand
in front of the casket for a moment.
What
do I say?
What you say depends entirely on your relationship with
the deceased and their family. If the deceased is an acquaintance
or casual friend, you may say, "I'm sorry." or
"He was a wonderful person." However, if you are
closer to the family, you may want to ask if there is anything
you can do to help or express your feelings about the deceased.
You should not ask for details from the family about the
illness or death.
Is
it OK for children to attend funerals?
Depending on their age and their relationship with the deceased,
it can be helpful for children to attend the services. By
attending, children are given the opportunity to say goodbye
to someone they love. Funerals and viewings also allow children
to start the grieving process. If in doubt, simply explain
to the child what will happen at the services and ask them
if they would like to go.
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